The New Age Bumble

 

I didn’t set out to fall into New Age spirituality — I bumbled into it.

At the time, I was in a relationship that was hurting me in more ways than I could understand. I felt small, lost, and desperate for strength. In the quiet moments I spent alone, YouTube became my comfort companion. For a time, by what felt like accident, a video interview with a woman named Esther Hicks kept popping up on my feed. She spoke about something called the Law of Attraction.

It sounded so logical — that what you think about and focus on shows up in your life. I would see people that ran across my mind pop up in spaces I would usually not see them. I would get a text from a friend after wondering how they are. I would think the night before, wow some fruit would be nice right now and then days later get a fruit basket. I think we all can relate to that part. But then she said something that hit me like a blow: “You create your own reality.” That single idea shifted everything. Suddenly, all my unhappiness, all my pain, felt like it was my fault. I cried. Yet at the same time, it gave me a strange hope. If I had created the misery, maybe I could create something better.

I dove headfirst into it — The Secret, Bob Proctor, and endless Esther Hicks recordings. I listened every day. I journaled, practiced gratitude, and visualized what I wanted. I felt this surge of power within me — and for a while, it worked.

I ended that toxic relationship with a courage I didn’t know I had. I started reconnecting with family, singing again, writing music, and even going to church. It felt like a new beginning — fresh air after years of holding my breath.

As I continued to research these new ideas, I started exploring crystals, convinced they could help me heal. I wore one around my neck and meditated every day. I wanted not just emotional healing, but physical and spiritual renewal. That’s when yoga entered my life. It promised the union of body and spirit, and I was all in. After each session, lying in savasana, I felt emptied of negativity and filled with a quiet connection. I thought, this is it — this is how I connect to God.

Over time, though, church started to feel distant. I doubted the Bible’s stories — Noah’s ark, Jonah and the whale, Moses parting the sea. They seemed too fantastical to be true. Yoga and meditation became my church. I felt “connected,” but slowly, I was drifting away from the truth.

New Age ideas started to color my whole life. I talked about energy, vibration, and manifesting. I believed I had attracted my husband, my blessings, my peace. Everything seemed to fit — until it didn’t.

One summer, I planned to run my own camp for kids. I invested money, time, and heart into it. I asked the universe for just ten students per week — not a million dollars, just ten students. But week after week, it fell short. I was crushed. I felt like I’d done everything right: meditation, gratitude, focus. Yet still, the numbers weren't what I thought would manifest.

That was the first real crack.

I began to realize it felt like I was talking to myself — not to a higher power. But I kept trying. The Law of Attraction teaches that if things don’t manifest, you’re the problem — you didn’t believe enough, you had resistance, your energy was off. I spiraled in that mindset, thinking if I just tried harder, the laws would finally work.

But they didn’t.

What followed was a long season of spiritual limbo. I no longer believed in the Law of Attraction, but I couldn’t return to Christianity yet either. I was depressed, confused, and exhausted. I started watching deconstruction videos on YouTube, trying to find truth. But then, something unexpected happened — videos from Christian apologists began appearing in my feed.

I watched both sides, weighing every argument carefully. And then, one day, it just hit me: none of the deconstruction arguments were as solid as the defense of Christ. Jesus was the answer.

For a moment, I wondered if maybe Jesus had created the Law of Attraction for us — but that question was clarified quickly. My eyes opened to how easily LOA slides into the New Age, and how all of it — the crystals, reiki, even yoga — is packaged together to slowly pull us away from our Savior.

I threw away my crystals. I stopped practicing yoga. I picked up my Bible again.

Now, my mornings start with worship and devotion, not manifestation. I’ve surrendered my life to Jesus Christ — the One who was there all along, protecting and guiding me even when I couldn’t see Him.

Looking back, I see that New Age spirituality worships the world — what we can get, attract, or gain. My faith in God now teaches me to serve — to steward what I have. I may not have much, but I can start with love. I can serve my children, my husband, and my family. I can share verses online, sing songs about my struggles and victories, and most importantly, I can listen to God. 

I used to chase the idea of creating my own reality.
Now I rest in the truth that my reality is safest in His hands.

If you’re reading this and find yourself dabbling in New Age practices — maybe you’re searching for peace the way I was — I want to tell you this gently: the peace you find there will fade. But the peace of Jesus Christ will never leave you. He is real, and He is waiting for you.

If you’re ready, you can pray this simple prayer:

“Lord Jesus, I’ve searched in many places for peace, but today I turn to You.
I believe You are the Son of God who died for my sins and rose again.
I surrender my life to You. Come into my heart, guide my steps, and teach me to follow You. Amen.”

There’s no more striving. No more pretending to be your own creator.
There’s only grace — and it’s enough.